Running hard

I enjoyed New Attitude this year. Challenges confront me to the core of my heart. Meditating, scripture memory, daily engaging, delighting, dying to self, proclaiming the Word without shame, and life changes.
Life is short and truly I see the "vapor" evaporate in front my eyes. Where is God going to take me in this big picture?
I think about the discipline of spending time with my Saviour. Why can't I get myself out of bed at 0500 in the morning? My mind does not see that His Words are my "Life" and God is calling me to follow Him in Obedience to "bind His Words about my neck"..."put on the armour" ...hide "in my heart so that I might not sin against you"...to "seek it as treasure"....
I find myself passing off the my valuable time with God for exchange of saying that I am not being legalistic by being too rigid. (completely wrong thinking).
I love the dedicated, tenacious spirit, and love for God's Word displayed in Tyndale. Why can't I be like my brother who displayed this thirstiness for the Word of God and vision for all men to have the English printed version of the Bible in their hands. He pleaded to the king, carefully, thoughtfully, lovingly until his final death. He followed, in faith, the ultimate example, Jesus Christ, who was disregarded by men and kings. My apathy and pride stare me in the face. I want to run hard towards God, passionately, focused, sacrificing, unashamed, to be the same tool in the hand of God .
Love the Lord my God with all my heart? Myself gets in the way. My worldly pleasures, my "what next mentality", my "I deserve it", my faults thinking, questioning"is to die really gain"?.
No freedom being a slave to my self; it is short sighted, and not true to the way God designed me.
I reflect on Pipers message and Romans 14:8 ."...for whether we live, we live unto the Lord, and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lords."